The Old Bags United Story - Part 2

Getting qualified - my hellish experience

So I was setting up a women’s football team BUT had never played football before, apart from a few kickabouts on Wanstead Flats in my 20s. I had certainly never been coached or been part of a club. So I decided that I needed a proper qualification. I hoped that it would tell me how to put cones out in a straight line and give me some ideas for sessions.

After a few weeks of lurking round the Kent FA website I finally took the plunge and booked myself onto a Level One FA coaching course. The course is mainly designed for youth coaches, and as it turns out, not absolute beginners such as myself. And it certainly wasn’t about how to put cones out in a straight line.  

I was absolutely terrified. I was the only woman, natch, out of 16 participants. The rest of my contingent were blokey blokes called Dean and Gary. They were all already youth football coaches. Some had been coaching youth teams for 20 years. I’m not sure if it was a gender thing (as I was only one female it’s hard to tell), but it did seem weird to me that people felt that they were already a great coach without ANY QUALIFICATIONS AT ALL. Anyway I digress.

The first session was ok as it was all classroom-based – an introduction to the course and the FA ‘four corners’ of coaching,  (physical, social, technical, psychological) - but then it was out onto the pitch. I put on my VERY SHINY new football boots (my first ever pair) and tried to join in the session. The course leader had us take part in a warm up that involved all of us moving round with footballs in a tightly packed area. It was quite physical and at one point I was grabbed by my shirt at the back of my neck, someone (Dean or Gary) leaned in close and whispered aggressively: “it’s a man’s game” in my ear.

I felt absolutely deflated. I was nervous and way out of my depth. I had no idea what I was doing. I couldn’t take part in the small-sided games as I was really scared of being hurt (all the Deans/Garys were absolutely massive). I am also very rubbish at football and not at all like Lucy Bronze, which I am in my imagination. I got home and shed quite a few tears. It was weird as on the one hand I didn’t want any special treatment but on the other hand I think I needed a bit more protection and guidance.

Anyway I womanned-up and decided not to let it get to me. I went back the following weekend and tried to throw myself into it. I looked up ‘arrival activities’ and ‘SSGs’ on YouTube and ordered some coaching manuals from Amazon. I made a couple of friends, Gary and Dean. I started to understand what the sessions were trying to achieve and made a monumental effort in my practise session to demonstrate that I had absorbed at least the basics. I tried not to feel too incompetent.

We all passed the course (it’s hard to fail your level one). I wouldn’t have said I felt completely ready to take on the task but I did feel a bit happier. Luckily Dean or possibly Gary (actually it was Brian, thanks Bri) put me in touch with the women and girls’ football development officer from the Kent FA, Natalie Curtis, who invited me along to a women-only recreational session at the FA headquarters in Ditton and I picked up a few more coaching tips and ideas there.

So armed with my trusty manuals, some youtube videos and my new certificate I was ready to impart some footballing knowledge on some unsuspecting females. Or was I?